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Sew Funny Jokes

Rules for Quilting

1. Always buy fabric no matter how much you
already have
2. Sew All Day and All Night absolutely no
cooking allowed
3. Use a lot of spit for tiny droplets of blood, this
always makes the quilt personal
4. Always start a new quilt before the last one is
finished, this requires you to go back to step # 1

 

 

You Know you are a Quilter If……..
There’s more Fabric in the House than Food
“Fat Quarters” are not the heaviest part of your body
Your ironing board is always set up but you never iron clothes
You think of your job as an interruption of your quilting time
You pet Fabric
People are always picking threads off you
You can measure a scant 1/4 by eye
“Featherweight” Doesn’t mean Boxer
Your “UFO’s” are not from outer space
You clean up your sewing room & they think you are leaving

 

 

She Learned to Quilt on MONDAY.
Her stitches all were fine
She forgot to make us dinner
So we all went out to dine

She quilted miniatures on TUESDAY
she says they are a must
They really were quite lovely
But She forgot to dust

On WEDNESDAY it was a sampler.
She says stippling’s fun
What Highlights What Shadows!
But The LAUNDRY was’nt done

Nine Patches were on Thursday
Green,Yellow,Blue and red.
I guess she really was engrossed
She never made the Bed.

It was wall hangings on Friday.
In colors she adores
It never bothered her at all
That crumbs were on the floor

I found a maid on SATURDAY
My week is now complete
My wife can quilt the hours away
The house will still be neat

Well, now its only SUNDAY
I think I,m about to wilt
I cursed,I raved,I ranted
Cause the Maid has learned to QUILT !

 

Comment and please leave a joke or funny comment below.

Love ya.

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