Archive for July, 2012

Sew Funny Jokes

Rules for Quilting

1. Always buy fabric no matter how much you
already have
2. Sew All Day and All Night absolutely no
cooking allowed
3. Use a lot of spit for tiny droplets of blood, this
always makes the quilt personal
4. Always start a new quilt before the last one is
finished, this requires you to go back to step # 1



You Know you are a Quilter If……..
There’s more Fabric in the House than Food
“Fat Quarters” are not the heaviest part of your body
Your ironing board is always set up but you never iron clothes
You think of your job as an interruption of your quilting time
You pet Fabric
People are always picking threads off you
You can measure a scant 1/4 by eye
“Featherweight” Doesn’t mean Boxer
Your “UFO’s” are not from outer space
You clean up your sewing room & they think you are leaving



She Learned to Quilt on MONDAY.
Her stitches all were fine
She forgot to make us dinner
So we all went out to dine

She quilted miniatures on TUESDAY
she says they are a must
They really were quite lovely
But She forgot to dust

On WEDNESDAY it was a sampler.
She says stippling’s fun
What Highlights What Shadows!
But The LAUNDRY was’nt done

Nine Patches were on Thursday
Green,Yellow,Blue and red.
I guess she really was engrossed
She never made the Bed.

It was wall hangings on Friday.
In colors she adores
It never bothered her at all
That crumbs were on the floor

I found a maid on SATURDAY
My week is now complete
My wife can quilt the hours away
The house will still be neat

Well, now its only SUNDAY
I think I,m about to wilt
I cursed,I raved,I ranted
Cause the Maid has learned to QUILT !


Comment and please leave a joke or funny comment below.

Love ya.


The Truth About Fabric Comes Out!

July 30, 2012 2 comments

Fabric Hoarders Beware !
A recent study has indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones, that
actually hypnotize women 
and cause them to purchase ungodly amounts.

When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric)
cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome ( similar to the ones
squirrels have before the onset of winter, i.e. storing food) therefore perpetuating their
species, and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut up into pieces and
mixed with others. Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very
high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few of breed of women known as

When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants “Buy me” “Cut
 “Sew me“!  In order to overcome the so-called feeding frenzy effect that these
fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear
plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. (One must laugh however, at the sight of
customers in a fabric store, with WW2 army gas masks and headphones !)

Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread
the effect that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called fabric
store clerks. 
It’s also been my experience that these same Pheromones cause a
pathological need to secret these fabric purchases away when taken home (or at least
blend them into the existing stash) and when asked by a significant other if the fabric is
new, the reply is “I’ve had it for a while”

(Originally published in August 1997 in the Western North Carolina Quilters Guild
Newsletter) Written by Kathy (Smith) Harris, Tuscon AZ

Thinking of marketing your clothes or other things online? Then this video series is

Totally for YOU

Where Do U Want 2 Sell?

So, I have found a number of very cool sewers who have and are making a living sewing all on their own.  I’ll be getting some interviews from them soon.

But for those of you who have no clue about how to market, promote, make money online much less sell  your stuff… then this is for you.

This is a group of guys who are some serious 8 figure annual income earners who are putting out an awesome product right now.  This thing ends Aug 1st.

There are 4 content videos that are amazing and I get a lot out of them… and if you do nothing but watch the four intro videos, you’ve probably know more than 50% of internet marketers.

check it

The second video will tell you what it takes to make it in today’s world.

I’m amazed and I thought I knew a lot.

And that they have over $35,ooo in bonuses that are awesome helpful marketing tips (for a $499 product this is unheard of)

I got it just for one of the bonuses that I really want (comment on the post and I’ll tell you which one it is) and everything including the course is ice cream on the top.

Anyway, it closes Aug 1st.  So, if  you are looking at this page after the date… sorry.


But they will open it again sometime in December.  The problem is that it’ll be a $2,ooo product then.

Not sure if this is the direction you’re taking but it’s a great opportunity if you ever wanted to take control over the internet, work with some really cool fun people, or know all the doodads that make marketing work in today’s world.

Many blessings to you.


PS  And watch the first 2 videos… they are amazing and free.

Get Sexy in Sewing – Sarah’s story

So, I was going to do a story on “Does Sexy Sell in Sewing” and comment on how all the Pfaff marketing material spotlights an exotic woman in sexy sewn outfit.

Now, I know that works for beer commercials and cars and all kinds of things… but in sewing?

Yet, with the success of Pfaff, I can’t say that it has harmed them.

Well, I just met Sarah.

She’s a cute young gal who has been clubbing at night promoting certain liquors while she goes through nursing school.

I’m kinda shaking my head as I write this. lol.

Now she saw that as she’s been visiting with some of the strippers, people are selling them bikini’s for $45.

Now Sarah was like “What!?!

She tole me, “I know how much material goes into those skimpy suits and how much it costs.”

So she wanted to set her mom up who was home-bound with harsh arthritis to sew some cute bikinis and she’ll sell them.

So she comes in with a few trials she created.  And one problem was trying to get some elastic up the rear of the bikini bottoms to cup the buttocks appropriately.

And I have no idea.

Luckily, I shared the idea with a friend Shelley.

She was like… okay, reviewed her sewing and explained, for the bikini bottoms, you need to use a different stitch.  You have to use the three dotted zig-zag stitch.

That way there will be a nice smooth comfortable cover.

Now, I expressed some of my ignorance about the exotic dancing industry… and Sarah let me know in a PG-13 way what goes on in the industry and told a few stories.

So, I get the feeling Sexy does sell in sewing.

And sexy sewing sells well to a great niche audience.   –  What do you think?

What kind of audience do you sew to?

Leave me a comment and I’ll write back.



Quilters… I need you…


So, I was talking to this gal today, Tracy.  She was buying a new machine (a nice Janome 3160) to take home.  I asked her “What do you like to sew?”

She smiled, “All I do is quilt.”

She then went on how the old machine she has now has all kinds of noise and clanking and she’s scared it’s not going to make it.

Now, she didn’t want to talk much but I was just left wondering… why would someone just want to quilt?

So, I know a few of you are quilters out there.

And I know there are some honorable events to quilt for like the Quilts of Valor, or church Christmas giveaways etc.

But I still can’t understand the value in spending all your time and all those materials and figuring out all those patterns to a frustrating level… and only want to do quilts.

I have asked a few in the past and they just say, “Yeah.”

Hey, I have a problem simply doing clothes patterns.

So, I want quilters to tell me why they love quilting.

Please, because I don’t get you.

I’m sorry if it seems like I am being negative, because I love looking at finished quilts.  I know you will never get a price for all the time and labor put into it… yet, still you beautiful people do it.”

And most of the time give it away.

blessings to you all.


And leave a comment on why you


Categories: Uncategorized

Sewing by Force

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Categories: Uncategorized

The Kite Festival – I Need a Cording Foot!

So Rod calls me, he says, “I need a cording foot.”

So, I’m scrounging around looking for one… and not to be found.

“Uhm, Why?”

“Well,” Rod says, “My wife wrote on Facebook that we would have our inflatable Bear Kite at the sewing festival this weekend… And people told me I have to have a cording foot.”

“Oh, well, I can probably get one tomorrow.  The only other place I know to get one is at Montavilla Sewing.”

“Yeah, I know. I just didn’t want to drive there.  My wife just bought a hole bunch of hair and put it on the kite… so I am now committed to finishing this kite.  We’re leaving tomorrow so that won’t do.”

Well, I was able to get a cording foot from a sewing center.

He was pretty happy.

I told him “You better get lots of pictures of this Flying Hairy Bear.

He said, “I always do.”